Grief and Healing Poetry
Buster
11-3-75 6-17-97
One night as I lay fast asleep
The phone rang and I sprang from bed
I knew before answering I would weep
for I felt that my best friend was dead.
A voice said "Daisy, there's been a wreck,"
BJ was on the other end
I thought in my mind, "oh what the heck"
I knew Buster would soon be on the mend.
His voice was shaky, scared and sad
I knew he wanted to spare me this sorrow
So I gave the phone to Busters dad
And hoped for a better tomorrow.
Dashing from room to room I finally found my way
Out the door and into the van
Trying to find some way to convey
All the feelings that I can.
Down the road we went fast as we could
Wondering all the way what would I find?
Would my son be sitting there as only he would?
Or would I find his body like I pictured in my mind?
Close and closer I approached the scene
Red lights flashing into the darkness
The van stopped all looked serene,
But all I felt was incredible sadness.
Jumping out and running down the path
To try and make sense of this all
What I saw brought incredible wrath
Tere you laid, like a rag doll.
I tried to get to you my best friend
To hold and comfort my son
But no one would lend the helping hand
That I so needed, my son was gone.
All I could do was call your name
It echoed throughout the land
But not an answer nothing came
I needed the touch of your hand.
This isn't real, it's just a dream
Please someone wake me up, I'm scared
Nothing seemed real, or so it seemed
Please God let Buster be spared.
The ambulance came was about time
Why weren't they getting my baby out
He's just lying on the ground covered in grime
Hurry up...But they all just stood about.
Screaming why don't you help my son?
The attendent just stared at me.
I knew then my battle would not be won,
Your son is dead already said she.
No, No, yelling into the black sky
Not my son, not my life, not Buster
I should of sent him off to Devry
At least he would be alive was all that I could muster.
Not my baby, collapsing on the ground
Not seeing, not hearing nothing anymore,
All those precious times I have found
Are locked in my heart forever more.
I've go to get away from here
This cannot be real
This is too much for anyone to bear
What are these feelings that I feel?
Is Buster really gone? Never to return?
Or am I just dreaming something really bad?
Everyone around me I seem to spurn
Leave me alone, he's all that I had.
Going home was very hard to do for sure
Tim would have to be told,
I wished I had a way to cure,
The anquish I knew, the sorrow, the cold.
I told him with tears in my eyes
What had happened to my son
No more good byes
Buster is dead....I have only begun.
People were called to ask them why?
Why did my son have to die?
Out there all alone, helpless and scared
Why couldn't he have been spared?
The days went slowly, never to end
It was time to ask Busters friends
To help me get through this I prayed
For them to
pick out the casket that Buster would be laid.
The blue one for sure of that's Busters color
Pink would be nice, but that's for another
"Going home" was what it read
Right over his Rush hat on my sons head.
The day came for me to see
My best friend didn't look real to me
This isn't the Buster that I knew
He was the one of many few.
Buster, I knew could make me happy
Even when my days were crappy
Open your eyes my son, look and see
Daisy's here now, yes it's me!
Please wake up Buster this is too much to take
Take my hand and a path to home we'll make
But it wasn't meant to be I saw
He's still laying there, gone to us all.
Your funeral day was hard to abide
All I wanted to do was to die
Saying goodbye as they closed the lid
Will stay in my mind never to rid.
Out to the cemetery for a final farewell,
People were there but I couldn't tell.
All I could see was your face before mine
It's Ok Daisy, you're gonna need time.
Into the ground they put you my son
Please be happy, you're battles been won
No more to see sadness, sorrow, or lies
That's the positive everyone sees when they die.
I'll miss you, my life, my heart, my son
Perhaps someday I'll notice you're not gone
But together we'll be once again for all to see
My best friend, my son, for all eternity.
Daisy
July 8, 1997
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